- I got pregnant at the age of 16 and was faced with the decision of whether or not I should raise my son myself or to let another couple adopt him. I pondered the question for a while so that I was sure about what decision I would make. My mom supported me know matter what and left the option up to me. She told me that if I wanted to give him up for adoption she knew of a couple who would be happy to adopt him and that they would also make it an open adoption so that I could see him and be apart of his life without playing the role of his parent. She did also inform me that if I did keep my son that it would be very hard to go to school, have a social life, and raise a child but she would support me no matter what. I knew that if I gave my son up for adoption and still be somewhat apart of his life it would be hard. The thought of giving him to someone else to raise him was a hard decision for me but on the other hand I had to think that they could possibly give him a better life then me. I knew that my carelessness got me into this situation and that I had to come up with a solution. My boyfriend told me that his family would help us out but I still had to think about what was best for the baby. After thinking about it for so long I knew that if I gave my son up for adoption I would not be able to handle the fact that I had a child that I did not keep. My sister was also pregnant at the time and was two months ahead of me in the pregnancy so I knew that if she kept her child and I didn't, I would regret it everytime I looked at her child. After I found out what I was having I immediately decided that I was going to keep my son. My boyfriend and I knew that with his family and mine, we would have all the help we needed but we as parents to this child had to step up and try our hardest to be parents to him.
- Looking back on the decision I made I'm very happy with it. I took the time to map out my options and think them through so I don't feel like I made a decision too quick. I was also right to know that whenever I saw my sisters son that I would regret it if I didn't keep my son. Her son and my son are best friends and love playing together. My son lights up my life and gives me meaning. Life is a little stressful right now being without a job and not being able to provide for my son but both of my sons grandma's are helping me and my boyfriend out. I'm able to continue my education and be enrolled in college. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had given my son up for adoption. I could have partied harder, gotten better grades, went to an out of town college to experience something new, and been 40 pounds lighter but I would have still been miserable knowing that I had given up something that was apart of me. I'm happy to be a young mother. I can watch cartoons, play with toys, and color with my son all day long and I'm happy. My life has meaning and thats the greatest gift God has ever given me.
- I understand that he could have had a different life with someone else as his parent but he has a good life with me. I have lots of help so it's all good. He has more clothes and shoes then I do, he has his own room complete with cable/DVD tv, a million toys, and anything else that he wants. He does not have to suffer.
- After having my son my mom and sister were surprised at how much responsibility I had taken in being a parent and how mature I had gotten so I understand now the concerns they had while I was pregnant. I also understand why my mom talked to me about adoption. She was trying to help me because she knew how much this would effect my future.
- The most drastic change is that I am now a mother! I have also mature very quickly and became more responsible. I've been able to focus on the more important things in life. I'm a mother now and my main concern is the future for me and my family. I'm not living the normal life of a teen entering their twenties and partying and hanging out with friends because I don't live a normal life. I'm a mother now and I have to focus on what's best for my family.
- I mature not because my mom and my sister were doubting me (that sounds harsh but they were mostly worried for me) but because I had a choice. I wanted to be a mother, not so young but sometimes we just have to play the hand life dealt us even if it's a hard one. I had to play the role as a mother now. I had to become more responsible because I had two lives to pay for. Diapers are not cheap and his formula was $25 a can that lasted less then a week, you do the math. Clothes don't fit for more than 3 or 4 months. I did not have the money to look cute and done up but as long as I had clothes on my back I was fine.
- I still continue to put the needs of my son first but I am able to move money around so that I have a little extra for me to do something nice with. I used to feel guilty if I bought myself something but now I understand that I need a little something for myself every now and then. I still put my sons future first. Me and his father are saving up money so that we can get a place together so that we can be there for our son more often together as a family. Me and my son live with my mom and his dad lives with his grandma and we see each other everyday but we would like to be with each other more often. It's time for me to grow up and to take care of my family now.
- At the age of 16 I was not too worried about what I would be doing at twenty. I was more worried about high school, having a boyfriend, gossip, hanging out at the mall, etc. And I definitely was not worried about having kids or being a mother. So when I got pregnant my future became my top priority. My decision determined my future.
- I choose to keep my son. Regardless of all the things that I had to leave behind or stop doing. I decided that I wanted to be a mother at a young age. There's not a day that goes by that I think that I should have given him up for adoption, I think about what my life would be like if I did but I NEVER regret the decision that I made. I'm happy living the life that I live. I honestly and truly believe that if I would have given him up of adoption I would regret it everyday. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. Keeping my child was the greatest decision I ever made.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
The greatest decision!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
The writer does a great job using detail to explain the difficult decision she was forced to make about whether or not to raise her child on her own or let another couple raise him. She really dug deep into both options to see what was not only best for herself, but for her soon to son as well. She knew that having a child at the age of eighteen would be a huge responsibility. She would no longer be able to have a social life of going out with her friends every weekend and supporting not only herself but a child would be a huge burden. Her sister was also pregnant at the same time and she knew that seeing her sister’s child would make her feel guilty if she was to give her son up for adoption. She commented that “my son lights up my life and gives me meaning,” and she has learned so much from the experience. She has a wonderful advantage of receiving help from her mother and her boyfriend’s mother as well which has allowed her to continue her education. This experience has helped her to mature and grow up much faster than most people her age.
ReplyDeleteThe writer also uses personal testimony to show how happy she is that she decided to keep her son. She stated that “life has meaning and that’s the greatest gift God has given me.” Sometimes when events take place in a person’s life that at the time seems horrible, they turn out to teach us a life lesson that could have not been learned any other way. It is so great to hear a story like this because often time’s teenage girls would turn to abortion to take care of this problem. The writer also uses statistics to show the sacrifice she had to take both financially and physically by stating, “Diapers are not cheap and his formula was $25 a can that lasted less than a week, you do the math. Clothes don't fit for more than 3 or 4 months. I did not have the money to look cute and done up but as long as I had clothes on my back I was fine.” The voice of this blog is intimate and reassuring. Often time’s teenage mothers receive a lot of criticism for having a child at such a young age but in this case it is used as a learning experience that could not be taught any other way.
I believe that the writer could have used more examples of how her life has been changed to show that she has really taken the role of being a mother seriously. Also, talking about specific times when her life has been extremely overwhelming and seems like she cannot even go on would add to painting a better picture of the huge role that she has taken on. Overall, the writer did a great job on her autoethnography and proving her point about how her life has truly changed.
At times life is a bit overwhelming especially when it comes to homework. I can't do my homework in peace because I have to also keep my son occupied with something while I do homework, whether it is cartoons or toys, but he stills gets restless. Last semester during finals for my English class we had to revise our papers for a portfolio for our final grade. All the papers I had done for that class were on a thumb drive and I had to go back in and edit them. I needed four to go in my portfolio and one night I had gotten one completely done and started on another and was almost done. I decide to call it a night and finish it tomorrow. The next day I got up and put on cartoons for him while I took a shower, to make a long story short he got a hold of thumb drive and lost it. I didn't figure it out til later that night when I went in to finish it up. It was due by noon the next day. I worked all night and all morning. I only had 3 hard copies of some of the papers so I had to do one over by just using my notes. I was so upset I cried. I didn't get any sleep that night and had to go to work later on that day. As a parent now I wake up early instead of sleeping late and I spend my days cleaning and doing laundry to help my mom out. I don't eat junk food as much anymore because whatever I eat, he wants to eat too. I have to make better choices in what I eat for now one so that he will get the proper nutrition he needs.
ReplyDelete